One-Shot: Naming Hugo
by WizMonCruWil
Summary: This is the sequel to Naming Rose. A little more angst, but still funny! See if you can guess where the featured song comes from! Hint: It's from another musical.


**One-Shot: Naming Hugo**

Harry Potter opened the door to Ron and Hermione's house. "Hello, hello, hello?"

"Uncle Harry!" A streak of red hair greeted him as his best friends' 18-month-old daughter, Rose, ran into his arms. Harry grunted as he picked up his niece.

"Uhhh…. how are you, mini-'Mione?" he teased, employing the nickname he had used for her since she was a newborn. He kissed her temple, and then noticed that she seemed sad. "What's the matter, baby? Tell Uncle Harry."

Rose sniffed. "Mummy and Daddy are fighting again. Daddy says Mummy wantsa name my wittle brudder after Daddy's ri-ri-rival!" She sounded out the last word the way her mother had taught her to for reading. "Victor."

"Oh no…" Harry groaned, rolling his eyes. Just then, he could hear a crash from upstairs, as well as screaming.

"Honestly, Ron, this has nothing to do with him! I wanted to name our son after my favorite author. The fact that he has the same name as some boy I kissed _13 years ago_ is purely coincidental!"

"A likely story, 'Mione! So am I now supposed to wonder if that git is the father? Huh?"

"You jealous prat! You know bloody well that the baby's yours and that you're the _only_ man I would want to father my children!"

Harry wanted to march upstairs and yell at them both to shut up. He couldn't believe this was happening. He turned back to Rose, who was eyeing him quizzically.

"You'll understand when you're older," he explained to her gently, shutting down the numerous questions she must have. He stroked her hair and set her down on the floor. "Go get your nighttime things from your room, and you can sleep over at Aunt Ginny's tonight, kay?" Rose nodded and scampered to her room on the first floor. Harry tried to tune out the shouting match above his head until she returned, armed with her teddy bear and other items. Harry scooped her up again, and the pair slipped quietly out the door, unnoticed.

* * *

A little while later, Harry and Rose arrived back at the Potter residence. Ginny greeted them warmly.

"Rosie, my darling! What a lovely surprise!" She eyed Harry. "Where are Ron and Hermione?"

"Who cares?" Harry practically growled as he stomped past his wife to the kitchen. At the table was his almost-4-year old son James, and youngest son Albus (who was only days older than Rosie), and few-weeks-old daughter, Lily.

"Rosie!" the boys squealed. Harry sat Rose down in a chair and began to make dinner. The task gave him something to do as he fumed. The more he thought of his friends' argument, the angrier he became. Did they _really_ have to row about what to name their _son_? And Hermione had no business considering Victor, of all names! She knew how sore of a subject that still was for Ron! He sensed Ginny come in behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. He flashed her a look that clearly said, _I'll tell you later_.

After dinner, the kids were placed in bed. Harry let Rose sleep in the trundle that was under James' bed.

Harry kissed his oldest son goodnight before doing the same for his niece. He then turned on the tape that he, Ron and Hermione had made for Rose before she was born. Ron and Hermione's voices could be heard singing a tune from another epic musical:

" _No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears; I'm here, nothing can harm you, My words will warm and calm you. Let me be your freedom, Let daylight dry your tears; I'm here, with you, beside you, To guard you and to guide you._ "

" _Say you'll love me every waking moment; Turn my head with talk of summertime. Say you need me with you now and always; Promise me that all you say is true, That's all I ask of you._ "

Within moments, both kids were asleep. Harry softly said, "I love you" before he closed the door behind him.

* * *

The doorbell rang next morning at breakfast. Harry answered it to find his sister-in-law looking stony-faced with her hands on her hips.

"Morning, Hermione…" Harry said as casually as he could, but that was all he got out before Hermione stuck her wand under his chin.

"Give me my daughter," she growled shortly, her voice dangerously low. Harry instantly threw up his hands in surrender as he chanced a look at Ron from behind Hermione; his brother-in-law grimaced understandingly. Harry backed up into the foyer to let his family in. This gesture did nothing to alleviate Hermione's mood, however, as she did not remove her wand from his chin. She continued backing her best friend into the living room. Harry nervously mouthed a "Help" to Ron, who seemed to pretend not to notice. Harry changed tactics. "Um…Ron? Aren't you gonna help your best mate out? Call off your wife before she does me in?"

"Nope," Ron deadpanned, shaking his head before he cracked a grin. "Watching the two of you row is more fun; you don't get in trouble with her very often." Harry gave him The Finger. Hermione suddenly pivoted back around so her wand pointed at her husband. "Despite what you think, you're not out of the woods yet, _my_ _love_ ," she snarled, the last two words almost dripping with poison. Harry seized on this momentary distraction to run around and retreat behind the only cover he had: the TV set. Hermione's wand snapped back to him, before it suddenly went away. Her cold look did not follow, though.

"Ginny?" Harry called, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. "Can you tell Rosie to come here, please?" Moments later, Rose scampered in.

"MUMMY!" she screeched as she ran into Hermione's arms. Hermione smiled now for the first time since arriving.

"Oh, my precious angel! Daddy and I were so worried about you!" Hermione squealed, picking up Rose and cuddling her. She turned back to Harry, her cold look returning. "As for _you_ , Harry James Potter – how _dare_ you take my child without letting me know first! You're lucky Ron and I didn't call the Aurors; we had to assume that Rosie was with you and sleep on that hope all night!"

This time, though, Harry didn't roll over and play dead. "Well, excuse me, Ms. Priss, for thinking of you and your husband! I get to your place to return that cookbook Ron let me borrow – and I find Rose almost in tears, and can hear you both shouting each other hoarse, and over what? Naming your son after one of your old flings? You should know better than that, Hermione – 'Vicky's' a bit of a controversial figure in this family!"

Hermione gasped, now looking hurt. "Harry! Whose side are you on?"

"Your husband's, obviously – and grow the bloody hell up, why don't you? I don't take sides very often in your rows! I'm usually neutral; I'm Switzerland – why do you think I left with Rosie without telling you? I didn't want to get involved! I also maybe wanted to punish you a little."

"For what?" Hermione snapped.

"Oh let's see – for _neglecting your daughter_!"

Hermione looked like she wanted to whip out her wand again, or - at the very least - smack her best friend. Instead, she now approached the television that her brother-in-law was still standing behind, before taking out a book and waving it in Harry's face – so much so, that she forced Harry to instinctively take a step back. And Hermione didn't let up until she had backed Harry all the way into his own kitchen, where Ginny and the kids were still eating. Ron could only follow, trying not to laugh. It was almost comical – watching his wife bully their best friend in his own home. He chanced a glance with his sister, who clearly must have thought so too, but was too sensitive to laugh or say so. James, Albus and Lily just looked confused and a little frightened.

"James, why is Auntie Hermione mad at Daddy?"

"Shut it, Al."

Lily let out something between a whimper and a gurgle before promptly knocking her oatmeal off her highchair and onto the floor.

Meanwhile, Hermione had not let up on her berating of Harry.

"Let me explain something to you – I didn't pick the name because of Krum! I picked it because it also is the name of one of my favorite authors; a genius!"

"Yeah, I heard all of that last night! And can you blame Ron for jumping to some sketchy conclusions? Coincidence is not a defense here, Hermione!"

Ron now jumped in between them. "Harry, mate, please! 'Mione and I worked it out. We-"

"Hugh. Go." The adults hushed and glanced at Rose, who was squirming in her mother's arms and pointing to the copy of _Les Miserables_ in Hermione's hand.

"What was that, sweetheart?" Ron asked gently.

"Hugh. Go." Rose repeated, sounding out the surname on the binding. "I want to call my brudder Hugo." Her mother, father and uncle all looked at each other. Ron grinned at his wife.

"I think we have an alternative name choice here, love."

Hermione smiled and rubbed her pregnant stomach with the hand not holding Rose. "I think we have a name. Hugo Ronald Weasley…. I think I like that!" Harry gave Rose a high-five. Hermione set her daughter down and put the book away before grinning sheepishly at Harry. "Sorry about that."

Harry relaxed completely now and grinned. "It's all right. Ron has a point – I don't find myself fighting with you that often; I need to stay on my toes!" He now grew serious. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was taking Rose. I just figured she shouldn't be around that and that you guys needed your space." Now putting his voice down to a whisper, he added: "If your unusually loud shouting was any indication, you probably finished up your row with a bloody brilliant shag!" He was satisfied when Hermione blushed scarlet, but still laughed. He smiled. "There's that smile. I've got my best sister back. Again, I'm sorry I didn't check with you."

"I know," Hermione said softly, pulling him in for a long hug. "Thank you for taking her last night," she whispered in his ear. "You're right; Ron and I needed our time alone."

"Don't be daft! We're family! Besides, I'm her godfather, aren't I?"

"And an excellent one at that – the _only_ man I would want to be the guardian of my children!" Hermione said warmly, stepping out of the hug and kissing Harry's cheek. All was forgiven.

"Hermione, can you help me heat up the oatmeal?" Ginny called from the sink. "I think someone misplaced their first helping!"

Noticing the oatmeal on the floor, Hermione put her hands on her hips and eyed her baby niece, amused.

"Lily Luna Potter! What have you done?" she mock-scolded. "You better not drive your mummy and daddy to drink trying to feed you!" Lily giggled happily as her aunt cleaned up the mess on the floor, in-between games of Peek-a-Boo.

Harry could only laugh at the adorable madness of it all. "Oh, Merlin bless me!" he chuckled.

 _I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life…_ (Darryl Worley, "Awful, Beautiful Life").


End file.
